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Publish at March 19 2025 Updated March 19 2025

Is it possible to be friends without the same values?

The philosophical view of disagreements in friendship

Two people on opposite sides of a tandem, one attracted by money and the other by a code of law.

We live in a world of polarized values. Consequently, the natural movement in friendship is to go towards people who are similar to us, to avoid friction. This was Aristotle's or Cicero's vision of friendship, as recalled by philosophy professor Emma Carenini, who saw this relationship as two reflections in a mirror.

But others, such as Montaigne and Spinoza, assert that, on the contrary, there is nothing to prevent a friendship despite differences in values. The teacher gives the example of two judges, now deceased, of the American Supreme Court who had completely opposite worldviews, yet were very close in life. In general, these friendships remain strong when we leave out the things that make us angry, when we're more interested in the person than in their ideas. In short, when we are rational in our relationships, this is indeed possible.

After that, it's hard to live in the logical philosophical wisdom envisaged by Baruch Spinoza, and emotions are part of relationships. Nevertheless, Emma Carenini believes it's important to take an interest - on networks, for example - in people with different ideologies.

Running time: 5min49

Image: Rosy / Bad Homburg / Germany from Pixabay

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