Publish at May 12 2021 Updated October 26 2023
That's the central question I'd like us to explore. And why? Because there are still parents, educators, employers etc. who see failure as a demon to be avoided at all costs. Just look at the expression of disappointment on a parent's face when his or her already courageous child returns a negative report card. It's enough to see a teacher's expression of disdain when a student gives the wrong answer to a question, or to observe the jeers of classmates when one of them gets the worst mark in maths. Just look at the eloquent silences of business colleagues when one of them fails to meet key performance indicators. In short, contemporary society, in every sphere of life from politics to religion to education, is increasingly perfectionist[1].
I know this isn't news to you - you've probably already guessed it. But even though studies[2] have demonstrated the value of failure in the construction of identity, even though there are many inspiring stories of world leaders who succeeded only after several failures, even though the majority of contemporary billionaires were not the brightest at school, etc., there is still, deep down, a visceral fear of failure and an avid thirst for success. But the problem with failure is not failure itself, but the fear of it and social pressure.
Many people are aware that failure is formative and an integral part of success[3], but in practice, failure is quickly censured and little tolerated. When we stigmatize failure, when we criticize those who fail with the famous "I told you so", we arein fact condemning those who have dared to overcome their fears and live, sometimes, more fully.
Based on the art of Kintsugi, an Asian philosophy, I'd like to help us better embrace our fears, discover the genius within us and develop a healthy approach to competition. Let's start at the beginning by exploring what Kintsugi is and how it can influence our pedagogical approaches as well as our philosophy of life.
It's an ancient Japanese art that helps people not only to accept their own fragility and imperfections, but also to celebrate them. The art originated in the 15th century, when a young man named Ashikaga Yoshimasa accidentally broke one of his favorite bowls. Rather than throw it away, he sent it in for repair. But when it was returned to him, it had ugly metal staples along the cracks, holding everything together.
Since this bowl was culturally precious to Yoshimasa, he asked the best craftsmen to rebuild it. Thus was born the art of kintsugi, which means "golden joint". This is the practice of repairing ceramics with lacquer resin and gold powder.
It's natural or 'common' for some people to be ashamed of their past, especially when it was 'turbulent'. There are millions of people trapped in depression, stress, anxiety and many other psychological disorders simply because they try to hide an imperfection or find it hard to live with their shortcomings[4]. Social networks accentuate this, by enabling people to create a digital identity, creating perfect virtual profiles and projecting lifestyles detached from reality.
Yet instead of covering up cracks and imperfections, kintsugi invites us to highlight them, recognizing that they are part of the story of a piece of pottery, making it unique. As a teacher, you can use this philosophy to help your perfectionist students or anyone who feels ashamed of their shortcomings.
Practising Kintsugi meansbecoming less idealistic and more perfectionist, and more realistic.
Assuming one's failures without being ashamed of them demonstrates courage, responsibility and maturity. Continued success sometimes exposes us to arrogance and complacency. Yet we are often more humble, wise and resilient when we succeed after one or more failures. Never failing can even be dangerous, as the emotional shock will be greater when it happens.
There's more wisdom in failure than in success. Jules Renard once said, " Success is a bad teacher. It leads intelligent people to believe that they are infallible". All the entrepreneurs who inspire you have failed, without exception. In American and Japanese cultures, failure is an obligatory rite of passage to success. They celebrate entrepreneurs, teachers and students who have failed and then overcome those failures. On the other hand, in French-speaking cultures and in some African countries, failure is stigmatized. True self-confidence is not the kind of self-confidence that excludes failure, but the kind of self-confidence that is prepared to face it if it comes.
And perhaps most importantly, kintsugi involves allowing imperfections and scars to be seen. Not just visible, but highlighted with gold dust. In the same way, you can't run away from your fears or your past, however repugnant it may be. You have to confront it, conquer it and live with it with dignity. Because mistakes are also a channel for acquiring wisdom through experience, especially when you take time to reflect and observe after the action.
Finally, I see the art of Kintsugi, as a (r)call to decomplex failure, desacralize perfectionism and mitigate the spirit of unhealthy competition. A change must be made in depth, through a rethinking of the education system where we must review social attitudes towards losers and those who are different from us. Instead of criticizing directly, we need to put ourselves in the other person's shoes to try to understand them and learn to live better together. In a world that so often values youth, perfection and excess, embracing the old and worn may seem strange. But the practice of kintsugi reminds us to remain optimistic when all else fails, and to celebrate life's flaws and missteps.
References
[1] Harvey-Craig Aidan, "How the Japanese Art of Kintsugi Can Defy Perfectionism," Tes, accessed April 21, 2021,
https://www.tes.com/news/perfectionism-tackle-failure-japanese-kintsugi
[2] Jean-Claude FORQUIN, "L'approche Sociologique de La Réussite et de l'échec Scolaires. Inégalités de Réussite Scolaire et Appartenance Sociale (II)," Revue Française de Pédagogie, no. 60 (1982): 51-70.
[3] France Inter, "Pourquoi l'échec peut-il nous aider à mieux réussir dans la vie," December 5, 2019,
https://www.franceinter.fr/vie-quotidienne/pourquoi-l-echec-peut-il-nous-aider-a-mieux-reussir-dans-la-vie
[4] Candice Kumai, in her new book, KintsugiWellness: The Japanese Art of Nourishing Mind, Body, and Spirit, presents the therapeutic virtues of Kintsugi. Find out more here:
https://www.nbcnews.com/better/health/how-japanese-art-technique-kintsugi-can-help-you-be-more-ncna866471
Kintsugi - The Art of Resilience - Céline Santini - Caroline Donadieu (Illustrator), Myriam Greff (Photographer) - Translated into 10 languages.
https://www.decitre.fr/livres/kintsugi-9782412036204.html#ae85
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