Publish at June 08 2022 Updated June 28 2023
Not too much isolation; not too many relationships; the right balance, that's wisdom.
Confucius
To facilitate is to make easy. In the plant world, one plant makes life easy for another. It uses its specific qualities to provide shade, nitrogen or even chemical signals to warn its neighbor of invading insect pests. Permaculturists strive to understand in as much detail as possible the specificities of plants and their mutually beneficial associations to create prolific vegetable gardens.
The same applies to human groups. It's a matter of individuals in a team reaching out to the needs of others, without them having to express their needs. The facilitator adopts the posture of a permacultural gardener, helping the group and each of its members to occupy the space that suits them, according to the goals the group has set itself.
This high relational quality is probably the point that differentiates facilitation that is a little mechanical, that follows a program, a red thread, a ready-made process, a set of tools, from facilitation that sticks as closely as possible to the energies/needs/envies/imaginings/potentials of a group.
What characterizes this high relational quality is, first and foremost, attention to others, taking into account their singular needs to play a role, to be considered, to take their place, to be able to express leadership, and to have their initiatives followed up. Everyone needs to feel included if they are to give up a part of themselves to the group and form a team. So it's a question of building a framework in which the individual can feel confident in the group and simply express him/herself.
Trust cannot be decreed. It's not enough to invoke benevolence, confidentiality and respectful listening to what others have to say. It's a question of living it, of establishing it, by measuring out welcoming, progressive ways of interacting, very attentive to the energy that an individual and a group release and propose. For a facilitator, the challenge is to work on oneself by learning to center (not to get caught up in parasitic thoughts coming from within or outside oneself), and to anchor (to develop solid points of reference in existence).
Setting a framework of trust probably involves unconditional acceptance of what's happening "here and now", and the ability to follow the best potential for an individual or a group.
Following this energy means
This energetic understanding of a human whole often requires the facilitator to spend many hours taming his or her own emotions, learning to pick up the signals in the body that give meaning to the experience and enable us to adapt to it. This involves working on our fears, on our beliefs about other people's judgments of us, on our mission/vocation in the world, which makes our positioning, gestures and gaze more secure.
This work on our body, our feelings, our emotions, and the deeper meaning of our actions, enables us to make profound gestures and words. It's as if the other person feels that he's speaking to the very source, and not to the surface of the person, or to his role, his social mask or any defense system he's set up. It's by exposing our frailties, but also by showing our values and strengths without false modesty, that the quality of our relationship takes root. That's who I am.
Synchronicity and harmonious flow between gestures, body language and verbal expression produce a performative effect. What is said and seen rings true. There's not the slightest hint of played-out microbehavior, the slightest learned or copied mimicry that says this person is different from what he or she seems. There's no acting, no forced wink, no screen, just being yourself in truth in front of the other person. On this path to simplicity, it's still possible to observe nature, where every element, every detail, takes the path of the inclination conferred upon it. A tree doesn't play at being a flower; it occupies the space appropriate to its growth. There's no such thing as a forest architect; each plant occupies a territory as simply as possible, exploring its potential.
Open, generous questioning is probably the gift that's bestowed upon us, so that high quality relationships can take root. This questioning acts as an ebb and flow, as a gift and a counter-gift. Mutual exploration of what we have in common opens the door to greater porosity. Our defenses may well be lowered by non-threatening words, but the heart opens up and ready-made words are replaced by the right ones, just as lead turns to gold.
High relational quality is not only a matter between two individuals, but also within a group, so it's worth drawing on psychosociological concepts. Sociologist Bolle de Bal evokes three terms that mark three dimensions of the bond:
Finally, between reliance and de-reliance comes alliance: this is the joint action that begins to take shape when the relational quality is strong enough to pool energy and have a collective energy. The greater the relational quality, the greater the propensity for coordinated action.
High relational quality leads to greater achievements. And these great achievements, of which everyone is proud, in turn fuel the desire to improve relational quality.
Sources
Bolle De Bal, M. (2003). Reliance, déliance, liance: émergence de trois notions sociologiques. Sociétés, no 80, 99-131. https://doi.org/10.3917/soc.080.0099
CNRTLPerformative - https://www.cnrtl.fr/definition/performatif
Source persons according to Peter Koenig https://neswa.ch/leadership/les-principes-de-personne-source-selon-peter-koenig/
Mimics: notes on poetic gesture Thierry ROGER Université de Rouen-Normandie http://ceredi.labos.univ-rouen.fr/public/?mimiques-notes-sur-le-geste.html
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