Publish at April 11 2023 Updated April 11 2023
Giving attention or receiving it, everyone needs it. Teachers and students both receive and give it. It is a reaching out to another, an expression of one's affinity, one's willingness, one's existence. Thus, attention is also defined as solicitude, kindness towards someone, a mark of interest, of affection. To give attention remains a rather evanescent notion.
So, concretely, it can be a question of carrying out small attentions following the example of offering a present, to the simple availability during the critical moments or of joy. A range of realities can refer to this notion. This dynamic not only strengthens social ties but also nourishes self-confidence. However, doing too much can become embarrassing. And in this case, we go from being a caring person to a clingy or intrusive one because too much attention is harmful. Finding the right balance is not so difficult! Here, we present to you certain attitudes pertaining to good manners, good manners, a sharpened sense of observation, to be adopted to avoid being labeled as an "invasive person".
Generally, invasive people are unconscious that they are. Yet their inordinate attention is intended, in their sense, to please the other person. But because of the inadequacy of their actions with the circumstance in which the other is, their gesture is misinterpreted and suddenly becomes embarrassing. And yet, it all starts from a good intention.
In this case, having the right timing is paramount. Having the right timing means knowing how to act at the right time. To say it like this seems obvious, but how do you know that it is the right time?
Knowing this requires prior work to the example of knowing the personality of this person or his occupation. In addition to this, it is necessary to observe. Indeed, the type of personality allows to know if, after a hard day at work he is willing to talk or not. If he is an introvert, it would be better to give him time to open up so that he can talk to you in time. Don't force your presence on him, give him space to get his thoughts together and avoid being a nuisance. A student can learn to choose the right moment to demand attention.
As for observation, we can say that it is up to everyone's skills to interpret the signs around them. But still, one would have to be attentive to know this. It is obvious that if we pay attention to the gestures, the attitude of an individual, we can easily understand if he needs to be alone. In this case, we should wait for the time of calm. The principle is simple: no one would want to awaken a sleeping volcano, under penalty of receiving the wrath that, at first glance, are not intended for us. Acting at the right time is an important data to take into account when you want to give attention, which must be accompanied by another aspect that is not to be neglected: the frequency.
It corresponds to the regularity with which the marks of attention are made. Giving gifts, visiting, to a friend or family member, is a beautiful thing that very often proves the attention that we pay to the other. But, ideally, these tokens of affection or participation should be arranged irregularly in time, so that they maintain the magic of getting together, sharing a moment together, receiving a present or a remark.
There is nothing magical about behaviors that fall under the heading of routine. On the contrary, it sometimes even becomes annoying and ends up lacking authenticity because, this is what marks the person or is appreciated. The concern here is to mark a time of pause having to create the lack, the desire to exchange new experiences that one has lived separately, to receive recognition..
One of the corollaries of frequency is duration. We've all known someone in our lives who, at some point in their lives, thought they were going to make your house their second home or hog the attention at the expense of others. This second aspect far from doing your host any good, embarrasses them and makes the initiator of this type of intervention an invader.
In fact, respecting the privacy of others is something that is paramount. And barging into people's lives without warning is both embarrassing and could be marked as rude. In this case, the person who indulges in this game becomes suffocating and clingy. Because, it is also good sometimes to be alone, to converse with oneself, to preserve one's personal space and to have a secret garden. or, in the case of a class, to leave room for the others. It goes to a certain emotional and even mental balance.
Giving attention seems more complex than one might imagine, if all of the above parameters are taken into account. But our torment does not end there. Is there a specific place to give attention?
Where to give attention? A rather complex question that seems to leave us at an impasse. We can say that the place to give attention depends on the circumstance and the intention of the one who is behind it. Thus, in the case of a declaration of love, everything depends on the taste of everyone. One can opt for a mark of affection in a park in the open air, to enjoy nature for example. There is no better setting between birdsong, the wonder of passersby, the fresh air to mark the occasion.
In the case of cheering up or consoling a friend or student, a preference is given to enclosed places away from prying eyes for privacy reasons. No one would like to burst into tears in public and expose their life to strangers. Realizing this, it is important to define an appropriate place to give attention, establish a frequency, and have good timing.
In the event that these parameters are not respected, one would risk being labeled an invasive, clingy person. This type of person very often is looking for attention, but they do it badly. On top of that, they often suffer from a lack of self-esteem. In this perspective, these people benefit from working on their self-confidence in order to avoid developing an emotional dependency and ultimately being too much. To another extent, people subject to invasive relationships, often teachers with some of their students or parents, develop strategies to set boundaries with a view to preserving their privacy and availability without hurting the other.
References
Lisa Shield, Peggy Rios, "How to be less clingy," online https://fr.wikihow.com/%C3%AAtre-moins-collant
Office québécois de la langue française, "L'emprunt déconseillé timing," https://vitrinelinguistique.oqlf.gouv.qc.ca/index.php?id=23561#:~:text=One%20of%20senses%20les,chooses%20the%20good%20moment%2C%20etc.
Larousse, "attention" online https://www.larousse.fr/dictionnaires/francais/attention/6247#:~:text=Sollicitude%2C%20kindness%20to%20someone,that%20he%20has%20for%20me.
You might also like:
What AI literacy should be taught?
The arrival of a new technology always raises legitimate questions: how can we ensure that everyone uses it properly? All the more so as AI appears in a burning, raw social, political and environmental context. Everyone wants AI literacy, but is it really possible?
Making historical symbols your own
History has left anecdotes and artifacts that have become symbols for different nations. But as time goes by, their interpretation can change. What's more, while we place a great deal of emphasis on national history, there is little for local history, which is often intertwined with it. What if we were to draw inspiration from the experience of Marseilles schoolchildren who have given life and meaning to the unsuspected historical symbols of their neighborhood?
Shaking up the codes of school architecture
Long corridors, identical classrooms, high windows to avoid distractions... This is the classic representation that we keep of schools. Many actors, pedagogues but also architects, are shaking up these schemes and trying to make the spaces consistent with a more active pedagogy. Among these actors, Mario Cucinella proposes original solutions, flexible, modular and open to the environment.
