Becoming a hard-boiled

I don't know of many situations where fragility is an advantage. Playing the canary in the mine is sometimes useful for the miners, but not advantageous for the canary. Both guys and girls benefit from having "thick leather" and being able to cope with difficult situations without collapsing.

In politics, for example, this quality is an essential condition for survival, while remaining sensitive and maintaining a sense of responsibility... the politician is an oxymoron incarnate.

On a physical level, you won't ask the same of an armoire à glace as of a gringalet, but the gringalet may have an Iron Man-caliber resistance to effort that also makes him a "tough guy" of his kind.

Emotionally speaking, a nurse who receives traumatized patients in several pieces probably has more guts than many a policeman behind his protective gear. Who's the toughest nut to crack?

We all have "frailties", "susceptibilities" and "predispositions", but we also have the ability to grow a layer of horn thick enough to protect ourselves. We're not born with calloused hands, we acquire them through activity.

A mentality

A tough guy or gal is not an insensitive person, and sometimes it's even her sensitivity that drives her to the forefront of action: he or she can and must do something about it. (S)he'll do what it takes, and (s)he won't do it by criticizing or complaining.

(S)he comes to the conclusion that certain emotions are counter-productive: fear, anxiety, dread, apathy, anger, antagonism, sadness, and so on. The tough guy or gal may feel all these emotions intensely, but won't let them overwhelm him or her. What arouses these emotions, what are their sources? These will be her targets, and she won't let them be. This is the "tough guy" mentality that develops. A tough person knows how to manage his emotions.

A state of being

A state of being is embodied in one way or another in deeds and manners.

A hard-boiled without confidence or presence isn't the state of being you'd expect; you need to embody yourself, to exude strength and confidence. This can be achieved through physical training, attitude and, above all, skill. All this can be learned and developed with perseverance, and this is probably the fundamental quality of tough guys. In "duration" there's  "dur" (hard).

In some cases, it's also a question of being able to defend oneself; no one wants to attack someone who knows how to defend himself, which avoids having to do so. You can defend yourself just as well through your ability to retort and argue, as through your knowledge of a self-defence technique, or through your relationships. This too can be developed and learned.

A badass who complains or bends at the first hurdle loses his or her status pretty quickly. Developing stamina is a fundamental characteristic of hard-boiled: resistance to fatigue, pain, annoyance, effort; capacity for prevention and healing. These can be achieved with training and preparation; in return, you get a build and a calmness that radiates around you.

A hard-boiled doesn't refuse to get his hands dirty or make an effort when he's capable of doing so in the right situation. It's not an effort, it's experience, it's life, and there's a way to do it without losing your pleasure or your health. The effort makes the hard-boiled even more hard-boiled and establishes its reputation.

Models and mentors

Many famous people don't seem to fall into the category of badass, yet there are few who haven't been able to face and overcome all the adversity they've encountered. These people are inspirational and can help develop the mindset of people in control of themselves, whatever the circumstances. Hard-boiled are inspired by other hard-boiled, and most can point to role models who have inspired them.

Even with the desire and potential, no one is going to take on an intense scrum on their first experience. Asking for help from mentors, from tough guys with experience, is an excellent approach and allows you to acquire horn without getting too many blisters (4).

Fear and anger

Only the dead are never afraid, and even saints can get angry in certain situations, but the difference between a coward or a temperamental and a hard-boiled is that the latter is not overcome by panic or frenzy; he is able to recognize his emotions, dissociate himself from them and keep his cool. He channels emotional energies towards his best abilities. Fear can give wings and anger strength, but insight gives the ability to channel them well.

Interestingly, each time a fear is overcome, it is reduced to a trigger for adrenalin and concentration. Don't think that daredevils have never been afraid or that great speakers have never been stressed in front of an audience. Once you know you can sublimate an emotion, any emotion, there's no reason why you can't do it with others.

A little tired?

A hard-boiled doesn't spare himself or herself and, through training, his or her capacities end up far exceeding those of those around him or her, so when a problem arises, both they and those around them tend to play it down... until the problem is very serious, when if it had been taken into consideration earlier, it would have been easily solved. Burnout, infections and injuries don't just happen to other people - they always have a source. A hard-boiled who knows how to maintain a high level of performance doesn't ignore the signs that his or her body or mind is sending him or her. (1, 2)

Respect

Who do we respect? Who don't we respect? We don't respect those who prey on those weaker than themselves, nor those who scorn those beneath them. We respect those who are capable of getting things done, those who are helpful, those who consider everyone's potential, those who are reliable... Sometimes the same people have antagonistic characteristics; once you've become capable and confident, it's easy to fall into arrogance and insensitivity.

Keeping the heart in the right place is perhaps the greatest challenge facing hard-boiled. Becoming tough and remaining sensitive is ultimately the ideal (5,6,7,8).

Illustration: HayDmitriy - DepositPhotos

References

1- How to complete a round-the-world tour in 670 marathons without ever injuring yourself: Marie Leautey's 7 principles
https://www.outside.fr/comment-boucler-un-tour-du-monde-en-670-marathons-sans-jamais-se-blesser-les-7-principes-de-marie-leautey/

2- Quality of life and pleasure at work: the tough life of the tough guys
https://www.ithaquecoaching.com/articles/qualite-de-vie-plaisir-travail-dure-vie-durs-a-cuire-4151.html

3- Developing a badass personality
https://fr.wikihow.com/%C3%AAtre-un-dur-%C3%A0-cuire#D.C3.A9velopper-une-personnalit.C3.A9-de-dur

4-Interview with an emergency physician mentor
https://academos.qc.ca/blogue-jeunes/entrevues/entrevue-avec-un-mentor-medecin-urgentologue/

5- What are the qualities of a "good" politician?
https://fr.quora.com/Quelles-sont-les-qualit%C3%A9s-dun-bon-homme-politique

6- In search of the ideal politician
https://www.ledevoir.com/politique/quebec/367722/a-la-recherche-du-politicien-ideal?

7- What are the qualities of a good modern political leader?
https://www.swissinfo.ch/fre/politique/%C3%A9lection-au-conseil-f%C3%A9d%C3%A9ral_quelles-sont-les-qualit%C3%A9s-d-un-bon-dirigeant-politique-moderne-/4458485

8- What are the qualities needed to work in an emergency?
https://emplois.ca.indeed.com/conseils-carriere/developpement-carriere/qualites-travailler-urgences