A phenomenon amplified in the age of social networks
Among basic human needs, all neuroscientists and psychologists will agree: the need for recognition and love from others is essential. It's one of the vestiges of our distant Homo Sapiens past. Indeed, being excluded from a group in prehistoric times almost certainly meant death. So we've evolved to make sure we're appreciated by others. When this doesn't happen, it can be as damaging to our health as smoking or obesity.
Some people, in fact, have gone into professions to gain recognition as comedians or journalists. So they get their regular dose of appreciation and neurotransmitters, including dopamine and oxytocin. That's why many artists are addicted to applause: it's a strong dose of recognition in their brain. Social networks have understood this, and have used the same techniques used by the tobacco industry to create an addiction to the famous "likes".
But you don't need massive recognition to feel good physically and mentally. A few sincere friends are enough. To make them and be loved, there are a few tips that science itself endorses:
Be kind, smiling and personable;
Mimicry helps you feel part of the group;
Be interested in the other person by asking questions and talking;
Always be there, i.e. be in people's presence on a regular basis;
Don't be too perfect; imperfections and blunders make a person more likeable.
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