From cog to human: regaining control of your life in a world of injunctions

We often talk about freedom, but do we really live it? On a day-to-day basis, the line between choosing and executing is much blurrier than we think. We get up in the morning and follow our routine. We do what's expected of us at work, with our family, in society. Then, without realizing it, we get lost. We were taught to obey long before we learned to choose.

A robot executes; a human, on the other hand, chooses. And yet, in our real lives, we often act more like the former than the latter. So we rarely ask ourselves the question: when do we really decide what to do with our lives? Do we do things because we want to, or because we have to?

Obeying may make sense... but not always

Following the rules is not an evil in itself, nor is it a fault. It's even necessary. Without rules, there can be no life in society, no trust, no structure. A child who learns to respect limits, an employee who follows protocols, a citizen who respects the law, all make sense. Obedience, in this context, holds society together.

When you get used to following instructions, you no longer know what you really want. You confuse what you have to do with what you want to do. And that's when obedience ceases to be useful, to the point of depriving us of our freedom.

In 1963, American psychologist Stanley Milgram 's experiment demonstrated how obedience overcomes our own consciousness. Indeed, 65% of individuals are capable of silencing their own conscience, simply because they are asked to do something.

Hannah Arendt followed the trial of Eichmann, a high-ranking Nazi official. She thought she saw a monster, but she discovered a very ordinary man. He was content to say: "I only obeyed orders". That's when she realized how blind obedience leads to the worst.

Regain control and decide for yourself?

While obedience can be learned, control over one's own life is gradually lost. And we often don't realize it. Control over your life doesn't just disappear, it's slowly eroded, day after day, decision after decision you don't really make.

At work, we play the role of the good employee. In the family, we play the role of the good son, the good mother, the good partner. In society, we play the conventional game. By hiding behind these roles, we forget who we really are.

Sociologist Erving Goffman saw our daily lives as a kind of staging. Everyone does everything the others expect them to do. In the end, we no longer know who we really are behind the mask.

And the figures bear this out. According to the Gallup Report 2023, some 77% of workers worldwide have no real sense of commitmentto their work. They just do what they're told. They perform without meaning. They don't really choose.

So, when do we regain control? Not in a big break-up moment, not by dropping everything overnight. It starts much more simply than that. A moment when you stop and honestly ask yourself: "Is this role I'm playing right now really me? Taking back control isn't about shirking responsibility. It's about consciously choosing them. It's that precise moment when we move from automatic to conscious, from execution to decision.

Sense of duty: do we do things for ourselves or to avoid disappointing others?

Sometimes, we act without really choosing, we execute, almost mechanically. And then the question arises: what is duty really? A force that lifts us up? Or a weight that shackles us?

Duty has a beautiful image. It's associated with responsibility, nobility and integrity. And indeed, when we do something out of deep conviction, because we believe it's right, because it's in line with our values... then duty takes on its full meaning.

But when we do our duty out of fear, out of habit, or simply to avoid reproach. It becomes a prison. We no longer act, we suffer. And this nuance changes everything.

Philosopher Immanuel Kant makes a simple distinction. There's what you do out of conviction and what you do for form's sake. It's the difference between following one's values and simply wanting to look good. One feeds the soul, the other empties it.

This boundary separates the human from the cog. A cog turns because it is mechanically forced to do so. A human being, on the other hand, has the capacity to ask himself why he is turning. He can choose to stop. So the real question is, why do we do it? For yourself, or to avoid disappointing others.

Taking back control is the most human of acts

Taking back the reins of your life doesn't mean rejecting everything. It doesn't mean refusing all authority or living outside the rules. It does mean one simple thing: ask yourself before you act. Why am I doing this? Is it my choice or someone else's? This reflection transforms execution into decision. It transforms the cog into a human being.

Being human is that click that pushes us to understand before accepting. Find your "why", start looking for it.

Illustration : Shutterstock - 2548091573